Blah is not a feeling. Or is it? How about emptiness? Some-one, or some-two I could say, missing parts of our family feels, well.... empty. Only one day and two nights ago they were in my arms. The house is so quiet without them. Two pieces of my heart I will not see for another 41/2 months for certain. Forgive me if I seem incoherent.
Alexander tried so hard to hide his tears. He kept his distance from us after hugs and see-you-soons at the airport. "A. is a big strong U.", my husband would say.
Both are such amazing kids. Unexpectedly (to me) our bio kids became instant best buddies with them. Surprised at their similarities with our bio kids, I was and still am.
I am in awe of God, the orchestration of all this has been miraculous to say the least. Last year, Alexander was on the summer hosting list. When he was one of three unpicked from the photolisting , I was baffled. How could no one pick this sweet boy with the most beautiful eyes and a splendid bio, who was additionally recommended by the director? For winter hosting, he remained on the list again. Finally this past winter/spring the summer hosting list showed him again. I kept my eyes on him. His lovely sister was added to the list this time. At some point she was on hold, alone. A few weeks later, she was available again, because she only wanted to be hosted with her brother. The rest is history.
Wondering whether I would ever be able to feel the same for non-bio children as for our bios, my heart opened fully and embraced these two precious ones as our own. Instantly. God's divine plan evidently varies for all the hosting kids who visit the USA. Who am I to say what is right for any of them? Who is anyone to say?
All I can do is follow God's will . Follow my heart.
Week two coming up soon.
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